Mick O’Toole, Sam Irwin and Timmy Doyle

After many happy years as an “enlisted man” I agreed to go on an officer’s course in 1985. Some people have asked me why I waited so long, as I had been asked on a number of previous occasions. The answer is that while at work, I was making what I felt were big decisions, like marketing budgets, and whether to give a person a dealership, or even hiring and firing. On camp most decisions were made for me! “Stand over there”, “Lights out at 11:59”, “Today you are eating stew”. It was great! I know in real life an NCO makes life and death decisions, but not on camp.

On the course with me were Sam Irwin from A Coy and Timmy Doyle from C Coy. Even though we were older at this stage I am not so sure we were any wiser and we still lay in bed at night talking and telling stories. As the majority were now married with kids the subject matter of the late night chats changed significantly from when we first went on camp together.

The course took place in Cathal Brugha barracks and in the Glen (although we were billeted in Kilbride). As there were quite a few guys from the various Corps and support units on the course there was quite a lot of minor tactics taught, which was new to these guys. In fact, although we were lectured in Platoon & Company in attack and defense, all the “on the ground” work was at section level. On the first day in Kilbride I had to take out the first section before any refresher or training, and of course we were “hit up”. It amazed me how easily the drills came back – we re-acted to effective enemy fire (Dash, Down, Cover, Crawl, Observe, Sights, Fire), we located the enemy, I remembered how to give a fire order… and the instructors left it at that. We were then trained in minor tactics and spent a large portion of our second week in the Glen, or more accurately, in the Slaney. As the senior NCO (CS), Timmy Doyle was elected class captain. I attended as a corporal, as I had seemingly only been acting sergeant for the previous number of years.

We had the usual portion of Army BS of provoking people until they reacted and then coming down on them like a ton of bricks – all par for the course. Each student had to give a talk on a subject of interest they chose themselves and there were some excellent ones, including one on the Puma helicopter, complete with a large scale model. There was another memorable one on the Battle of Arnhem.

Photos of commissioning

I had no time to take photos on the course, it was pretty intense, and I regret having no pictorial evidence of my trip in the Scorpion light tank across the Curragh. These photos were taken at the commissioning.

The guy at table 6

Some time after I was commissioned I got an invitation to attend the Army Legal dinner as the guest of our now Colonel. Mick had a number 1 dress uniform, but I had not invested in one. “No problem”, says Mick, “I’ll get you the loan of one”. He got me a regular army lieutenant’s dress uniform which fitted and off we went to McKee for the meal. I was amazed at the turn out including quite a few of the great and the good from  the legal profession, who qualified by having been in the FCA once upon a time. It also struck me how many medals people were wearing, including the civvies, so I enquired of one guy with an array close to that of a Soviet General on his black dinner jacket. “Oh, I am in the Knights of Malta, and some of these are for service, this one here we had struck to commemorate the Pope’s visit…,” etc etc. It seemed easy enough to amass a chest-full in certain organisations. I was proudly wearing my 12 year medal and single pip on my shoulder. At some stage during the meal the Colonel went out to the Jacks and came back corpsing with laughter. “What’s so funny, Mick?”, I asked. “I overheard two regular officers talking in there and one says to the other ‘Who is the loser at table 6? – he must be well over 30 years of age and has only 1 pip up – maybe he screwed the CO’s missus’. His mate replied ‘More likely he DIDN’T screw the CO’s missus’”. The absence of maroon epaulettes on my uniform had really thrown them!

Difference between officers and NCOs.

One of the great advantages of the FCA is that every officer has been a recruit and an NCO. There is no cadet school, Sandhurst or Military Academies, which means there is better empathy between the officers and other ranks, and in many cases NCOs might be even better qualified than some officers. I worked for many years with an ex-PDF officer as my CEO and he once complimented one of our staff to me by saying he was like a good sergeant – great at solving single dimensional problems. It did seem a bit like damning with faint praise.

Aptitude test.

There is an old story about an aptitude test given to cadets. They are informed that they are the orderly officer in barracks on the day the GOC is to visit and the flag pole is not up! How can they put this right – the flag pole is 100 foot tall and must be placed into a 6 foot hole in the ground. They have three ropes available, one 250 foot long, and two 120 foot long each. There are four wooden crates each six foot by six foot by six foot. How can they achieve their task?

The correct solution seemingly is to say “Sergeant! Get a few men and put up that flag pole!”