During POTS training it became traditional that on the Thursday when all students were particularly tired and pressurised, an evening lecture on “Discipline” would be arranged and all participants were required to attend in number 1s at 2000 hours. Paddy Whelan would be at the top of the lecture room resplendent in his number 1s and he would begin in very serious tones to deliver the following lecture on “Discipline”.  I have tried to recall the details to the best of my ability but all corrections or clarifications are welcome.

Paddy would “grow out of” anyone caught sniggering explaining that “no one sees me laughing” and “the Minister does not find this funny”. Some of the more assiduous students would begin taking notes.

IT 6/66 – Dying

It has come to the attention of the Minister that some soldiers have been dying without proper permission and in an incorrect manner. Therefore this directive has been issued setting out the correct procedures involved and it is required that all ranks be retrained in its contents at least once a year.

By order DFHQ Ref: 6/66

Soldiers have been dying without permission and so now it is required that at least 3 week’s notice be given in writing, in triplicate to your command HQ through your local adjutant and unless part 3 is returned, properly initialled and stamped then no soldier should die.

The correct method for members of the PDF and RDF to die is as follows:

1. The member should grasp his/her chest and take a half pace forward with the left foot.
2. The member should roll their eyes upwards
3. The member should make a half turn to the left.
4. The rifle should then be dropped (bolt upwards) from the right hand
5. The member should then lie on their back, with their toes pointing upwards at an angle of 45 degrees (magnetic) and await evacuation.
6. Members will then be issued with transport instructions to the next life
7. During this time any un-expired portions of the last breath should be drawn.
8. Death rattles should only be used on ceremonial occasions.
9. On arrival each member will be issued with 3 (three) shrouds except in the case of senior NCOs who will be issued with the appropriate asbestos clothing
10.  Shrouds usage is:
    1. one to be worn,
    2. one in the laundry
    3. one folded (number showing) in the locker at all times.
11. Harps will also be issued and should be burnished daily with Goddards number 1 gold dust.

Anyone not observing these instructions leaves themselves open to a charge of insubordination and severe penalties.

Mise le meas

Capt B L Zebub

DFHQ